Time is passing so slowly and my mood is getting shittier and shittier
I don't know what i want to , just blogging and pouring out my feelings since i have no one to talk to . Alone and depressed this 2 things goes ugly together . Ugly with a beauty in it .
i don't know whats going on in my brain , guess I'm going crazy ? Haha all the better i don't want to be in a state where my mind is cleared , really its scary when im cleared because all the more i will think of the pain .
Please listen to the song - Stay high by Tove lo , because it speaks everything for me .
"You're gone and i gotta stay high , all the time to keep you off my mind.
High all the time to keep you off my mind .
Spend my days locked in the haze , trying to forget you babe , I fall back down.
Gotta Stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you ."
I'm tired , i want to give up . There's nothing left yet it still has the power to kill me , i don't know how.
Nothing kills me .Loosing appetite and mentally broken i don't know how do i continue . Nobody cares and nobody stays , its a thing I've always told myself but why did i forget ? Caught up with love that swirl me like a tidal wave , he made me feel special , beautiful and worthy. And when he left i fell back to the ground ,leaving me with nothing but emptiness. I hate him , i do. But the more i hate him the more i fall back in love to him . I shouldn't be the one thats hurt ,really im so tired .
My head whispering : Worthless little bitch , and my mind shouting to me You deserved it . I do , i do .Laughing at my own tragedy and blaming myself as if this entire life was nothing but a joke .
Stay high xx