Time is passing so slowly and my mood is getting shittier and shittier
I don't know what i want to , just blogging and pouring out my feelings since i have no one to talk to . Alone and depressed this 2 things goes ugly together . Ugly with a beauty in it .
i don't know whats going on in my brain , guess I'm going crazy ? Haha all the better i don't want to be in a state where my mind is cleared , really its scary when im cleared because all the more i will think of the pain .
Please listen to the song - Stay high by Tove lo , because it speaks everything for me .
"You're gone and i gotta stay high , all the time to keep you off my mind.
High all the time to keep you off my mind .
Spend my days locked in the haze , trying to forget you babe , I fall back down.
Gotta Stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you ."
I'm tired , i want to give up . There's nothing left yet it still has the power to kill me , i don't know how.
Nothing kills me .
Loosing appetite and mentally broken i don't know how do i continue . Nobody cares and nobody stays , its a thing I've always told myself but why did i forget ? Caught up with love that swirl me like a tidal wave , he made me feel special , beautiful and worthy. And when he left i fell back to the ground ,leaving me with nothing but emptiness. I hate him , i do. But the more i hate him the more i fall back in love to him . I shouldn't be the one thats hurt ,really im so tired .My head whispering : Worthless little bitch , and my mind shouting to me You deserved it . I do , i do .Laughing at my own tragedy and blaming myself as if this entire life was nothing but a joke .
Stay high xx
Love is wonderful, love is fireworks but it hurts when it all burns out. The thing is, it never does burn out.
ReplyDeleteDon't think of yourself as worthless because we determine our self-worth. I may not know you personally, but the reason why friends may not "show concern" may be because they are afraid they would open up a wound that's barely healing.
Cheers :)