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Hey there it's Luna
Well, this is a dark dairy of mine where I pour out my feelings into every word. It's a strange blog but it's probably the best way to convey my feelings without being hurt.
I hope you don't find them too weird and with that, I wish you a fun time reading...

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Wednesday, December 31, 2014


1 January 2015

This is a highly requested post and I guess I'm finally able to blog about it . 

At this point of my life , I don't know where I'm heading to . Leaving home after a big fight with my father , I no longer felt the yearn to return home . Instead I've moved to my boyfriend's house and stayed with him . Living condition is alright and I'm currently holding a retail job in my hand requiring 9hrs work at least 5 times a week , life does not get tougher..

After work , my man will pick me up and lately we've been drinking and clubbing together . Other than my retail job , I work as an Promoter selling clubbing events tickets to people . The job looks easy but the pressure is real . Dealing with people and persuading them to buy from me is devastating especially if a certain target needs to be reached . I'm so tired , I lost control of myself sometime .. 

I just want to get rid of my soul and sleep in a rose garden forever .. Quarreling and fights start to occur more and more frequently in my relationship and today we have given up .. 

It's a wild life I'm grabbing on to , and I don't know how much longer I can manage .. I'm so tired everyday the moment my eyes are open and I feel like a mess . Nothing has been solved and I know this life is getting shittier . 1 month ago , I didn't know I would land myself I'm this deep ocean , slowly sinking deep . 

"I know I can't be loved again , maybe alcohols might fill in the pain "

I'm tired of feeling like this , I'm tired from my life . Lost faith in the burning fire in my heart and felt the agony washing my mind . Who knew the girl cried for her misery life , for she had lost herself while struggling through the night . Love her for tonight , drink her up like wine . Cigarettes kills and so do you , but gun shots are hurtful too . Crawling away from her sinful life , and fall into the dead sea of lie . 

This is the life I'm currently living , I woudnt call it life but what's more to it ? 
Pain is all I can feel , no agony no chill .
Concealed my feelings with each laughter , coz silence kills like the sound of metal . 
I've learned to lived like this , like a wolf howling in a mist. 

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Best mistake

11 November 14 
This is a confession I have to make , I am currently in a relationship . 

This new relationship has changed me literally 180 degrees in my perspective of life . Many people hurled insults at me saying I did not love Shawn or my love to him was a lie but little did all of you know he is currently living happily with a new girl . 
It didn't hurt me , not an inch , only happiness and relieve pour into my mind when I first found out . I'm happy that he finally made up his mind , I'm happy that he is happy . But most of all I'm relieved that he is no longer confused in his thoughts , or his complicated heart . All this while I've been hoping I was the reason to all his answers , I guess I was wrong . To foolishly love , wait , and caused myself to be hurt because of a man that could not figure out his life - I was constantly living in torture and pain 
I was so ... Naive 

But I don't blame him , in fact , I've found a new love . Call him XX , but I am unsure of my love and this relationship could work for long . To me , he is a beginning , a start , a risk . The things he had given me tells me that I was worthy to feel happiness , that I could love again , and love another . 

The past had damaged me but he taught me to pick myself again . Did I love Shawn ? I did , crazily in love but that is the past . I do not need to put myself down and torture myself for his love , I'm done . XX is my risk , and whatever happens I will take it as a lesson . 
" If you love me , pull me back . 
   Because all I needed , was your love to stay in my heart " 

I know that it's crazy to start a new relationship again , but It doesn't bother me since I've already lost my mind at the beginning .
Both lovers are out of their mind , two of a kind , makes them bind . 
I love you