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Hey there it's Luna
Well, this is a dark dairy of mine where I pour out my feelings into every word. It's a strange blog but it's probably the best way to convey my feelings without being hurt.
I hope you don't find them too weird and with that, I wish you a fun time reading...

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Thursday, July 30, 2015


Wondering through the night, 
the alcohol reek will fight. 
We seek for love in darkness 
and desire for wildness within. 
Another drink for all the fame, 
another shot drowns all the pain. 

Double vision , mind's hallucination, we have been taken over. 
By something we drink to call a lover. 
Pull out a cigarette and light up the stick, just like lovers burning dicks. 

Why is it wrong, to break the crime. 
When breaking hearts is just as fine. 

Like drunkards, we crave for affection and hunger. 
The desire to find just another lover . 
Maybe this time someone will shed some light,
to help me get pass through the night. 

The reeking alcohol, the heavy scent.
Should fill my nose and shiver my sense. 
We touch and feel each other's pain,
to realise all we did is another mistake.

Who cares anyway, let's get fucked tonight. 
You'll pull your shirt, I'll rip mine. 
Thought lovers were the only person you'll crave, 
even when you're at someone's bed. 

It's not lying if you're drunk. 
Coz alcohol forces truth from tongues.
Why did it hurt to only hear it when you're dead, 
with alcohol filling your hallucinated head.

Wildest Wolf

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Fuck you, July

July has been a shitty month for me. Crazy things happened and life was getting tougher each day. I tried to suck it in , and maintained a positive energy . But I can't lie, I'm falling apart soon.

I just want to sleep the pain off, but I can't. I'm so close to getting my goal and I'm not ready to give up. I'm a fighter, I have to be strong. Why can't people just take their time and think once for me? I've been understanding towards their situation so why can't I have the support in return? 

It's unfair, 
For me to only understand.
How tough life is, 
So I simply pretend.

I treat others well,
But lesser for myself.
At the very end,
People don't dwell.

Stop being harsh on me,
Am I not human to you?
To crash me at my worst,
And me without you.

I want to be happy,
I pray everyday.
For god's mercy,
On a sinner's day.

Days gets worse,
Harsh words rise,
I keep silent,
Words dont cry.

When I'm done,
Maybe you'll regret.
How you treated me,
With disrespect.

I honor humans,
For mankind salve.
But I forget ,
They won't remember my name.

Just a little girl,
In this big big world.
Trying to find,
A space for her tears.

Wildest wolf

Thursday, July 23, 2015


Good days don't last , bad days will simmer
I await for the light to give me an answer

To let my soul sleep in peace
Drown my head upon these grieves 

Search a meaning for this purposeful life
Wondering what did the Lord decide

Should I lie and close an eye
Or cringe my heart while these tears dry

Sometime I hope I knew it all
But if given so I would build some wall

Each brick with every wrecking ache
Each layer with all my soulful hate

In a garden I'm lost with a path to find
With roses bleeding from my eyes 

I wish everything could stop for a while
May the guardian of time please wish me well

Too tired I've dragged my feet across the pain
Too sinful for life to be in my game

With every breath I waste
Is every roses mistake 

Wildest wolf 

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Shitty day, shitty life

This week has been hell. Every single day my dreams are being crushed and my luck is being stripped off me. Sometimes I wish I could hibernate and get through this shitty days with slumber. 

Is it the wrong doings of my past? Or the karma I've coagulated throughout the year ? Please tell me. 

There is a saying "Even the sinner is once a saint" but honestly I wonder what sin have I sinned against ? Living my life with a smile and a strong will up in my mind - I wonder what I've done wrong? Why do such a thing happen to me? why must I deal with bullshit every single day? Why? Do God have an answer ?

I doubt 

Tired is a understatement for the shits I've been going through lately. My mind don't feel right and my body is 99% down. I want to give up. 
Please somebody stop the time. Stay with me a little while and let me take a deep rest. What should I do if I'm at the edge ? 

Good days don't last, and bad days won't stay forever. I know this well and clear but the problem is How long is this bad day gonna last...?


Wildest wolf 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Scar II

This is the post where I'm gonna reveal the secret behind my scar.

Half year passed since the day I've seen light,

to start a new chapter in my life.

For Once upon a time is a blessful heading,

my story is one with tears and sufferings.

Countless visits to the doctors were made,

for a newborn child meeting her fate.

"Please doctor help save her" were words that mother said,

but they turn their backs and shook their head.

1999 January 1st was a day to welcome a new year,

for me it was one with blood and tear.

In an operation room with surgical gloves,

and nothing but death to end my world.

Its a pity they said , so young to just die,

Ive not reach a year old yet, is it alright?

The demons ate my appendix,

they swallowed 1/3 of my intestine.

Am I still a human?

rare illness they said,


2 operations gave me back my life,

to live the life I was supposed to find.

I woke and had an ugly scar on me ever since,

I hate it but without it I wouldn't live.

This is the story of an unfateful girl,

I'll leave the story end till here.

But now I've had it covered up,

with a lily I call "Mom.."

Without her I would not have come this far,

so I tattooed it right on my surgical scar.

*My Appendix burst and the doctors did not have any valid explanations. A rare phenomenon and a deadly tragic. It happened 16 years ago and I was only six months old , they operate away my appendix and 1/3 of my intestines because they were infected. Leaving 2 scars - a big one across my body and a smaller one just on the lily.

This scar dawned over my life for 16 years.

It's not the prettiest, but to me it was life.

Wildest wolf