Blunt

He texted me today asking me if I was going out all , my faith lighted up and immediately faded when I realize all he need is someone to text to .
It hurt ,awfully. Realizing that I was merely a partner to talk for the sake of killing time . When time's up , I have to pack my shit and leave . Im so damn fucking tired , I'm Torn and shattered .I just want to get out of here and leave really, theres no worth staying I'm just done .I waited for his reply , staring at my phone for hours and letting time flow by , I really want to give up .

I really want to give up

At night he texted back , and later on he texted me again saying telling me the correct ingredients and saying I was dumb . It made me laugh and cry at the same time .I didn't even know that was possible 

Honestly, I was never happy the entire time , but people fall for my smiles . Around 1 am my pain hit me and many people came and 'talk' to me asking me if I'm alright and if i needed someone to talk to . What a fucking dumb question ...

Humans are born filled with curiosity in their hearts , and i know thats how they feel asking me those fucking questions . Please don't be curious really , I don't need someone to be curious about me , just stop it . Please care because thats all i truly need right now , a caring heart .

Perhaps God was playing a prank on me , Shawn texted me the same things...

It was fucking with me mentally and I can't feel it anymore . I asked him if he was genuinely concerned or simply just curious...He said "Concerned" .

Its funny how life always end up in a twist. Good things turn back and back things turn good . We talked , just for short,and he told me his problems and that 

'He want to be alone and start his life afresh'

Blunt words cut me like a razor sharp knife , his texts constantly echoed through my mind and it is killing me.

Shawn please spare me from this misery, Im reaching my breaking point ...

He can always have me whenever he want but I can never have him ,ever .

Tonight the wolf is howling to the moon ,again..
x