Right from the start, she knew I was different.
In her cradle, I was blessed in Endless affection.
With pain in her heart she fought for my survival,
The only person whose love could be so vital.
In winter she brought me bitter and loneliness,
Nothing but mirrors in my memory and her sleeping silhouette.
Groomed my imagination with never existing friends,
Gave me a life that I probably resent.
Filling me with colours and happiness again,
With daddy we went to a home place.
And even I could remember every event,
Bring me back to the days in Japan.
The next chapter in life began,
You walked me down every steps.
These endless nights where I spent with you,
Never wished to end it at two.
My lil sis entered my life.
Hell begin, where should I start?
This relationship have driven us apart.
All my regrets for my foolish acts,
Craziness in life have such an irony on hand.
Stay, I need you,
9 years of us is not enough.
Don't leave me please,
Adding your love to my wish list.
Never meant to make you cry,
Hated myself for coming to your life.
Tell me this isn't happening,
Why is life being so fucking mean.
Hey, how are you?
I couldn't even remember when we last had dinner.
My presence is slowly fading,
Missing you is more than just a feeling.
"Come home, Where are you?"
Are my favourite texts.
A reminder that i still matter,
Even when theres a Abuser.
I miss you dearly,
As I stared out the frosted windows.
In a cold room with no love,
Running stupid questions of my birth.
I know that I'm probably not the best daughter in the world. I understand that Ive been drifting from this family and we behave worse than strangers do in the streets. Words can't describe how much I missed you guys in my life. The sorrow, the cries and the aches - I tell myself it'll be over soon but I know, it never will. I know you check me up daily to ensure my safety, but truly I just wish to end everything now. This complicated life I've been living is a torturous game to the mind.
This family feels like an empty shell, and I can't help but run away from this place.
I don't want to see you happy with sis and daddy, I don't want to see that you're fine without me. Come back, Im here. Still.
Bring me back the nine years we had, I promise I'll make it better.
My days are over, To you I'm gone with the wind.
Happy Birthday Mother,
I missed you.