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Hey there it's Luna
Well, this is a dark dairy of mine where I pour out my feelings into every word. It's a strange blog but it's probably the best way to convey my feelings without being hurt.
I hope you don't find them too weird and with that, I wish you a fun time reading...

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Monday, November 17, 2014

Wild wild night

16th November 2014

That day I've prepared myself that I was going to see Shawn at the club . He texted me a couple hours before the event that my friend was hosting and I was the promoter . We chatted and I ended the conversation without memories in my head , all I know was the Longer we talked the more my heart throbs ...

Outside the club I saw him and even approached him for ticket sales . Walking over I behaved and endured myself to show that I've changed , he on the other hand was wearing the shirt that I bought for him for his Birthday and it aches my heart .... And from that moment all I could thought of was forgetting him ...

At the club we met and he texted me to go to the dance floor . All I could ever recall was me dancing with my BFF and the next moment he was standing just next to me . I threw myself out and got my hands in the air , so did he . My friends pulled me up the stage on the DJ Deck and we danced . I looked at him below the stage and forgotten everything behind . Mind swirl like a whirlpool and I was drunken in the music , I loved that drug that got me so crazy but at the same time it hurts to be an addict . The night went on and a few times he even came to talk to me but I was trying my best to ignore him and I pushed him away , with the best effort I could . 
After the event he texted me , asking for his clothes back and offering a dinner - that was it . That was all I could ever manage . Drunk in that sober hearts , my mind is playing a trick on me . God is pulling a prank on me to put Shawn back again . So so tired , I just want to enjoy this finally broken free single life and rave every fucking night . 

I want to be a wild wolf chasing the moon , with butterflies fluttering around me showering me with compliments . I love it , it's my assurance it's my satisfaction . That even if I have a deadly broken heart , I still have my outer shell that keeps me accepted in this society . Dancing in the crowd with the spot light hitting , the wolf lost herself in the night . Who cares there ain't no love in the world , nobody bothers anyway . 
Some nights shouldn't end and the wolf would howl to the moon , forever .

Drink the bottles with seducing tongues , maybe it's time for the game to begun.

Monday, November 10, 2014


Hey dearest 
It's been such a hectic week and I'm finally able to say "O level is over " yay 
I know everyone will definitely be happy and celebrating for the end of O levels but for some reasons , it bites fear into and I'm a little afraid and lost .
Yeah sure the long hours of studying and all the stress is gone , but I find myself to lost my goal again . What should I do now ? What should I work hard for ? I have no idea .. 

   I hope I'm not the only one to feel this way   

Right now in my hands I have 2 jobs on hold , and it satisfy me to work and to be occupied . 

And ...

Last week , Shawn texted me . Nothing much just a couple of lines but it really hit me . I ended the conversation and I was proud of myself . Yeah zi you can do it , put that part of you away , you don't need it . Part of me wanted to cry , and my heart's telling me to die . I'm just so confused . I'm back guys , back to the old lonely days where pain hovers around me and my soul grasping for air . I'm back and I have nothing to be afraid . I told myself I don't have Love in my heart no more so I shouldn't be shaken - Not by anyone or anything . The wolf can slip into the night and have the wildest dreams but at the end of the day , it is pain that accompanies it to slumber . You know it's hard but you got to do it , just like how it's hard to bid farewell to the day and look forward to tomorrow . 

Wild for the night , wakes up the devil 
He told me to love and flashes memory in my cradle 
I held up the bottle with shaken fear 
Drank a couple shots with poisoned tears
I'm afraid please end this pain 
I want to die , I have nothing against 
Crawling away from the sickest love 
And fall to slumber in hell above 

Attempted a poem to summarise my life  
If you get it I wouldn't be surprise 
But when all else fails just remember what I've said 
I'm back and I have nothing to be afraid .