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Hey there it's Luna
Well, this is a dark dairy of mine where I pour out my feelings into every word. It's a strange blog but it's probably the best way to convey my feelings without being hurt.
I hope you don't find them too weird and with that, I wish you a fun time reading...

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Friday, March 6, 2015


Lying down beside him it feels like the heaven has just fallen beside me. We talked and enjoyed each other's presence and soon slumber hit him but not me, leaving me out alone and neglected...

Its funny how we chase for the happiness we can't have , how we think that by having another loving partner we will be complete , but we don't. Despite his presence beside me , I still was crying to bed . Despite his love towards me , I still was unable to feel secure or for the matter , stable. Everyday I feel like I'm fighting a war with myself , and even though He was there on the battle with me , it did not felt anywhere less painful . 

Let me make this clear I am nowhere saying he is useless or worthless or anything of that sort . I'm just saying that despite love was presence , it did not chase my Demons away . Tired really I'm so tired , why is it so hard for me to live ? To not have so many nightmares constantly crashing in my head the whole time , and to just lead a normal happy life ? 
I don't have an answer.

Living with monsters in my mind , the dawning sky brings upon the night.
I continue to search for something I call life , to walk down the journey I'm suppose to find.
Crying to the world for the harsh odds of mine ,tracing my steps back to fit the perfect line.
Change my soul to be unfate , trade my tears for another mistake .

I've dragged my foot on earth to live another day , and felt like hell was here instead . 
With a man who loves me for good , he'll take me wherever I should . 
And be it how this love story might end , I'm just glad that Ive found love again.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015


Hey I'm not dead so...Hi? 

For some reason I feel like shit, actually no since when do I ever not feel like a bag full of poop ?? 

Lately I've been feeling super crappy about myself , my appearance in general. All the while I've been feeling insecure of my looks which is somewhat normal for girls right ? Like nobody's perfect and Everyone has their own flaws -bullshit.
These days when I step out of the house I feel like a complete sag crap like holy shit I look like a potato drizzled with thick gravy omg . 
I really detest how I rely on makeup products to get better looks and not feel so shitty about my face however it kills me on the inside to feel fake and "cakey". When I remove my makeup , I no longer adore looking in the mirror and admitting that the person inside is what I truly look like .
But the fact remains cold that it is, and how it forever will be.
I detest my decision of changing myself to be attractive , and the NEED to change myself.

I detest my thinking of thinking I am not good enough , when the question remains in my mind this whole time lingering for an answer.

Does anyone find this relatable ? Coz honestly I can't even tell you guys how many time I think about Cosmetic Surgery to construct an entire new face for my slut self . Like literally I feel like a slut trying to improve myself but hating on the fact that I need "improvement" to look better and not the finest beauty we were born with . God it's fucking 5:03am why am I typing this shit down ?

Why can't I choose my appearance ? Why does it have to be me that looks at other pretty girls and hoping for their features . Why is it me saying "I wish I had your eyes" or "I wished my legs were that skinny" you know the struggles?
Well...fuck it.