Crying and thinking is the only thing I do everyday . My stupid brain doesn't listen to me and keeps running the flashback in my mind . I try my best to be happy , and keep myself as occupied as I am . But the moment I stop , shit hits me again . Lord I'm so tired , I thought I have already lived through the dark ages but no , I'm back again . I can't do this , I can't go on living like this , I want to stop and want to end it . Fuck love for taking it's toll on me , leaving me lifeless and dead .
How am I suppose to go on ...
I text my mum and she comes in my room and talk to me to keep me away from my suicidal thoughts , but it doesn't work . My head throbs and I can't stop wishing my heart to die . I really feel like dying. This overflowing sadness kills me and devour my soul , breaking my bones . I feel so wrecked and tortured living in this reality hell
He brought me out of Hell but threw me back in there again
I don't know how do I want to continue , I want to forget him and be happy again but I can't . He was a part of my everyday life and to live without him I feel so empty . I kept thinking how my life would be without him but those thoughts scare my mind because I never wished to live without him . Truth is , I wished he would be mine and stay . " I don't know how to be fine when I'm not , I don't know how to move on when I don't ." Please let this dark times end , I'm gettin sick of dying a little more inside . Tears washes my face each morning as I wake up wet on my pillow casing. Not to mention seeing Him my dreams and waking up getting hurt because I miss him so much . What's wrong with me , why am I living like this . Why can't I stop ? I feel so wreck like a shipwreck crash into the rocks , sinking down into the deadly sea before hitting the sea floor , staying there forever ...
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dun be shy :) juz askk mee~