An earpiece relationship

3rd and 5th August 2014
went out with Shawn on these two days . 3rd August because he asked me out to slack and we slept together at his house . Everything that night was perfect that no language in the universe could describe its beauty . The only flaw that nigh was me , that weak and ugly me who couldn't hold myself and cried . That night just before we slept , we talked and then i turn my back towards him , for a backhug. Here come's the fault - i didn't know why , i just thought of our happy memories and i broke down . There right there , in his arms , on his bed , me oh me crying , disturbing his sleep. He didn't heard it at first only till he talked to me and i suppressed my crying then he realise. He turned , look at me and asked whats wrong and i just told me nothing . Really nothing's wrong because ...

I'm nothing 

im the one that's wrong , im just purely nothing .
He told me to turn and face him but i stared at his chest instead , burying my thoughts in . He beg me to pour out my thoughts and tell me the reason but I just couldn't bring myself to do it , Im so darn afraid i just can't .
I love you Shawn , I really don't want to be your tripping stone .
It hurts for me to type this but i still gotta go on , to be honest this is a confession :
Every word i type here is my last word living . I don't want to leave this word without inking every words and thoughts my heart is filled with. As least when I'm gone , I have some words left in this word for people to read , maybe my parents , my cousins , Shawn or even you dearest readers , at least i have my inking done in this world.

ALRIGHT BACK TO STORY
The tears flow and my heart bleeds. Im all wrapped in his arms , close to the heart but deep down I know , that its far far away , lost in the sea of broken hearts. He stroke my hair in that ever so raspy voice saying 'Im so confused i dont even know , so don't think too much okay?'  My heart stopped beating since that instant and till now I am not living . I breaks my heart to know that he doesn't know , I really don't know and Im afraid to know , I just God wish that Im not living ...

That morning came and around afternoon we talked , in bed , hugging . He asked me a few 'Boyfriend quesstions' which means like only boyfriends will ask and one of it daunted me
'why are you not into other guys anymore ?'
'because im not interested'
'why are you not interested ?'
sigh..
'do you really want to know ..
because im only interested in loving you'
this pain lasted the entire day and every once in a while it rings in my head an i can't tell you how much it hurts

An aching soul a sinking heart , one last breath pulls me apart.

He fell asleep , soon shortly . And thinking he was asleep i told him some of my deep thoughts to him ,stupidly. He shh my saying i was noisy and told me to sleep, im so sorry i really shouldn't have been such a disturbance . I turned and buried my face into the pillow which he kept teasing me 'Shy girl ah shy shy ah...'

I couldn't take it , i left . Went home and cried which eventually drifted me to sleep . 

5th August 2014 - Tattoo Day

I woke up around 7 am . Checked my phone not expecting a single text . I texted Shawn and realised that he has his first tattoo appointment today and only one friend was accompanying him , he asked me if i would like to accompany him and me...?

Fuck yes.

Met him and his friend - Brandon who is a really funny guy.We chat and took an express bus where the journey was super long and me and Shawn made a new friend who is just a little boy .I waved to that little fella and started playing with him until Shawn joined us .Looking at him cheeky , playful and adorable with kids really melts my heart.Damn how did he even do that ? I have no idea .

In the tattoo shop , that silly boy was super excited for his first inking experience . He had a full outline of chest piece done and the experience was brutal . He endured the pain and made through the suffering . The tattoo was nice and after that we went back home together and drift to sleep 

Someday just gets better and I really hope these days will never turn gold . I want everything to stay and I want happy moments to continue . Well it's not up to me to decide though - everything's in God's hand and I know that as long as I never give up , God will surely help me 

This post is called and earpiece relationship because that's how I feel . When he needed some music , he can plug me into one of his ears and enjoy . If he want to have an even better listening experience , he can plug both of this earpiece in and I'll feel like the happiest girl receiving all his attention and focus . 

However bad days where he wants to be  free and wild with music , he can throw away this pair of earpiece and go crazy .

I'm an earpiece . He may plug one side of me into him while having other earpieces plugging into his other ear . Once in a while he will remove the other earpiece and insert both of me in and giving me all the tender loving care . Other time he will remove me and throw me aside , replacing the ears with other earpiece . 

I don't know why I use earpiece but I find it really relatable to me .. 

An earpiece relationship