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Hey there it's Luna
Well, this is a dark dairy of mine where I pour out my feelings into every word. It's a strange blog but it's probably the best way to convey my feelings without being hurt.
I hope you don't find them too weird and with that, I wish you a fun time reading...

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Monday, September 1, 2014

Late empty love

1 August 2014 
That night I was crying hoping God to not wake me up the next day because I had a terrible fight with mother and my heart was broken , torn and shredded.
The night grew and I suddenly recieve a text from Shawn 
"Go sleep tho I'm going Al-Azar" 
"Hmm I shall go there then " I replied. 
So yeah I sneak out of home in the middle of the night around 4 am , to see my love .
We met together with 2 of his friends and we had supper together , eating happily . After supper he asked "want to go up my house?"
Fuck yes.
Over at his house , we lay on the bed all 4 of us singing songs and talking shit . I lay at the corner then Shawn and I can't tell you how much I have missed our intimacy . Once in a while he will put his arms over me or his hands around my waist and I could have literally die omg the tension was high. After a while 1 of the friend left , leaving me , Shawn and another friend . We changed sleeping positions but the order was the same , me in the corner then Shawn . The friend was nice and friendly and after a while he went to bathe , leaving me and Shawn on the bed . 
We shared the same pillow and our face was close to each other . Nose brushes and breathe tinkles . It felt as if the first time me and Shawn kissed , we were both lying on the bed with our face as close as this but only Shawn pulled me nearer his face which he lean forward for a kiss . 
This time it was different , we were close and at first I wanted to lean forward but failed because it wasn't close enough . He pinch my cheeks and rested his palm on my face which I thought of a really really cunning idea. Staring at him I grab his jaws between my fingers and went like "aww your face so chubby " but / plot twist / I pulled his face to me and kissed him . 
I . Kissed . Him . 
He didn't react anything big though , he continued the kiss and touch my face . Gave him a little bite on the lower lips which is normally how I kiss , everything went wild. I was drunken with this taste of love and I lost myself . 
The night went on and we fell asleep together . His arms was my pillow and I felt secure and blessed under this little castle . I thought to myself , what kind of love is this ? Because I have no idea . Does he love me ? Does he want me back ? I don't know . This love is going crazy and I have already lost my mind . Perhaps it's all my wishful thinking that maybe , just maybe , our feelings were mutual but I dare not ask . I missed him dearly and every minute right now I'm stuck with the scene of us kissing . Sigh I'm confused . I don't know where I stand or who I am to him . Probably a toy . During our sleep , I turned and back face him and he wrap his arm around my waist and pulled me closer , what was that ? Love ? 

I really hope that night didn't end and the sun never rose . 

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