Fighter

Tired is a sinner's game

To repent every mistake in life she made.

There was once a great friend of mine, came and told me how she read my blog post and told me words that caught me in a mind full of doubts.

"I can see from your eyes that you're not alright. But you push yourself and pretend that you arent with all the smiles and laughter from your face" 

"You don't have to stay so strong just let it out, you'll feel better.."

Strong ..? I'm strong ?

Well I tried to be one but I sure I'm nowhere close to the line.

If I'm strong , I would be bravely dealing with my problems and not hiding from them. 

These alcohols and drugs are the only things that is keeping me sane.

I know the numb is temporary but I am fearful to deal with pain. The feelings that are too raw , the heart that is too vulnerable. I just want to be left and die one day so problem will stop crushing in my head. 

I don't want to cry but the sadness is eating me up, if I let out my emotions I might not be able to pick myself up anymore. 

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As I sit down on my bed , looking at the place you always slept.

Thinking about the great times we had , are all memories that we kept.

And I browse through my albums, with photos of us with smile.

Wondering how we ended up like this , maybe it was Time that wasn't well.

The rain is pouring out of my window,

Reminded the times we spend staying in bed cuddling.

Great times are saddening , 

My mind is slowly fading.

The misses from my heart can't be put into words, 

But what are words for if action can't be proven .

The things that I see , do not piece the puzzle.

Because if you love me you won't be flirting with others.

Holding on these tears , praying I'll not breakdown.

Is just another silly prayer from Heaven to 

Hell

A sinner may once be a saint

But the sinner's blood will always remain.

Wildest wolf