Scar

Scar 

1. A mark left by a healed wound, sore or burn.

2. A lasting after effect of trouble, especially a lasting psychological injury resulting from suffering a trauma. 

For me I suffer both.

A big scar imprinted on my skin when a huge tragic befall me. To everyone it was a miracle I lived, to me it was a pain I carried for the coming years. 

Ever since the befall I was left with a scar so big it cannot be concealed nor erased. Since young I've yearned to get rid off it but never once a success. It was an ugly monster that lived inside me and I was hateful towards it. To have a little child carrying an monstrous scar was a shame and unending torture. Will the lord ever answer my prayers and allow the scar to fade and pain to leave ? Never. 

Girls who caught glimpse of it will unfailingly pop the "what happened?" Question and I hate it. 

Why does it have to happen to me ? Why does it have to be me carrying this scar ? To have a pain that is horryfying and also a mental trouble. But you don't have a scar that's ugly , you don't understand how it feels like to have it and feel the shame pouring down in your soul because it hurts . I wish I never had it and all this years of shame I could finally let go and be free, to not push myself to think about medical surgery to fix a scar. 

It's so painful that pain physically and mentally is an understatement.

One day I will try and gather my courage to elaborate the scar on my body, but till then I would like to keep it unsolved. 

For scars are bullets we've lived, 

And pain for eternal grieves. 

Wildest Wolf