Undeserving

I've always felt like this,
A strange, dying feeling.
It makes me wanna clench my heart,
And end all fucking feeling.

This stupid weight that I hold,
And a burden over my head.
Fills me with pain daily,
I'll die to kill in bed.

I never choose to walk this road,
But all happiness must end.
Merciless pain along the journey,
Is my way of repent.

It must be easy for you,
For a loving rich daddy.
Who knew I had to worked,
To dig for dirty money.

It must be easier to say,
That I'm the biggest slut in the world.
Too bad I wasn't blessed,
I'm just an abandoned girl.

There goes another day,
Here comes a nasty word.
So what if I'm working for hell,
You never tried kneeling for golden dirt.

Its true we turn a year older each birthday,
Happily wishing to the silly cake.
But its all a shitty joke to me,
For the people I love- they wish I was dead.

So don't tell me to stop being a whore,
Because I can't picture myself any other way.
This wasn't what I planned to live,
Too bad daddy- you buried me  away.

I asked myself crazily,
"What am I supposed to do?".
I pray and ask god daily,
"What did I did to you?".

The thousand likes or complimenting words,
Wouldn't compare to the parental love I yearn.
Even endless friendship that is there for me,
Stand no wall to my family.
-Underserving

WildestWolf