Fall Falling Fell

I love you Shawn.
Even if you don't love me , even if you fall for others - I'll still love you.

I'm yours , even if you're not mine.

I really want him back, these sadness isn't fading and each day it just build up higher and higher. I'm so tired , I tried to occupy my life just like what He is doing but at the end of the day , my thoughts always linger back to him .
Shawn please please please for the love of God , please come back to me. I've changed I mean it , I won't be that reckless Zi anymore, I will be a good girlfriend, I will cherish our relationship, I will do what it takes to make you happy, I will be "you" in our relationship. Please come back.
Right now I'm crying while hugging Pocho - the soft toy he gave me for my birthday , in my arms. I missed him so damn hard and what hurts more is seeing him being happy with other girls really kills.

This internal pain feels like gravity. It pulls my heart down every minute and I'm drowning inside, I'm drowning myself.

I'm torn and broken , I have nothing left .Why must tragedy always happen in my life , why me ? Why God ? Please make everything stop , I'm already gone. It hurts , everything hurts. No matter how hard I try to be happy and positive, I always end up being depressed and broken at the end . Can time rewind? Can I go back to the past ? I'm at my wits end .
I'm sinking into a deep deep ocean full of pain and broken pieces and what's worst is that Shawn knows about me drowning but he will not come back and save me , he won't. Its so painful typing this and I can't describe to you how hard I'm feeling right now . I love you, I'll stay .

All I wish is the Love of yours.