Crazy

26/7/14

Today Shawn texted me to go for dinner and I can't tell you how my heart sprint and how I screamed when I received that text . At first knowing I had Night Study Programmed , he told me he may not be meeting me because I was thinking about skipping but eventually I went and we met up at 8 pm

He was outside my school and my heart was going insane . The same familiar tall black figure standing outside the gates 

Oh my baby , I'm drinking in that view.

I dash all the way to him and he told me to relaxe 

Does he have any idea how much I wanted to pop into his arms and give him a big big hug ? 

We talked and laughed , went dinner at KFC and sat at the spot we sat previously . Everything was great ,of course there were times where we both didn't talk at all but it's alright , I enjoyed his presence around me . It felt so blissful . When we were at KFC queuing up to order , I looked at his back and flash back to when we were previously together , everything just hurt so bad.

I missed clinging on to him and hugging him although we were queuing , I missed standing next to him and cutting his queue because I know he will definitely let me go first , I missed being his.

After dinner we went to slack and we sat at a bench and chatted when he suddenly pinch my cheeks /my heart fucking BURST OMG / and a few times his fingers gently brushes my knuckles and ohh it felt heavenly I'm not even kidding. 

I told him "Don't touch my cheeks okay , my cheeks are made of gold " and probably because he knew I still have feelings for him , he tease me and say 

"You sure you don't want me to touch ? You sure ? "

"Shut up"

"Want or don't want ?"

"...want ..."

And he gave me another pinch again 

My heart probably stopped beating afterwards.

We sat close and we laughed together , his friends tease us and it didn't bother at all . He looked at my hand sanitizer and said "whoa I missed this " and squeeze out some on his palm "I think I squeezed out abit too much" 

"Give it to me then" I reached out my palm . He kept his palm away from me just like a little boy trying to protect his last piece of candy but eventually gave in 

He smear his palm against mine and my skin tinkles under his hand . We talked and he went to Instagram and scrolled at his timeline to found my recent video of #ALSicebucketchallenge .He watched it on repeat and laughed at every loop , I looked at his face as he laughed and it warmed my heart , that silly silly boy . 

We tease each other verbally and everything just seem so perfect - to me . When it's finally time to go he called his friend up to give us a lift and we sat the friend's van to home . 

He turned and looked at me "No need for bus rides " and I don't know why it made me really happy . The ride was good , filled with laughter and Shawn rested his hand on my knees , sigh I'm really missing it . 

When I finally got home I texted him "Thanks for the great night " and he replied "No problem stupid it's nothing "

The last word killed me , it wasn't nothing , it was everything to me . It may purely be a simple dinner with a friend to him but it wasn't at all to me , I'll never regard him as a friend but a lover .

Don't worry when you lost your way , I'll be your constellation and guide you the way back home with my stars . 

My secret shot of him , damn so perfect I want him .