Life

1 January 2015

This is a highly requested post and I guess I'm finally able to blog about it . 

At this point of my life , I don't know where I'm heading to . Leaving home after a big fight with my father , I no longer felt the yearn to return home . Instead I've moved to my boyfriend's house and stayed with him . Living condition is alright and I'm currently holding a retail job in my hand requiring 9hrs work at least 5 times a week , life does not get tougher..

After work , my man will pick me up and lately we've been drinking and clubbing together . Other than my retail job , I work as an Promoter selling clubbing events tickets to people . The job looks easy but the pressure is real . Dealing with people and persuading them to buy from me is devastating especially if a certain target needs to be reached . I'm so tired , I lost control of myself sometime .. 

I just want to get rid of my soul and sleep in a rose garden forever .. Quarreling and fights start to occur more and more frequently in my relationship and today we have given up .. 

It's a wild life I'm grabbing on to , and I don't know how much longer I can manage .. I'm so tired everyday the moment my eyes are open and I feel like a mess . Nothing has been solved and I know this life is getting shittier . 1 month ago , I didn't know I would land myself I'm this deep ocean , slowly sinking deep . 

"I know I can't be loved again , maybe alcohols might fill in the pain "

I'm tired of feeling like this , I'm tired from my life . Lost faith in the burning fire in my heart and felt the agony washing my mind . Who knew the girl cried for her misery life , for she had lost herself while struggling through the night . Love her for tonight , drink her up like wine . Cigarettes kills and so do you , but gun shots are hurtful too . Crawling away from her sinful life , and fall into the dead sea of lie . 

This is the life I'm currently living , I woudnt call it life but what's more to it ? 

Pain is all I can feel , no agony no chill .

Concealed my feelings with each laughter , coz silence kills like the sound of metal . 

I've learned to lived like this , like a wolf howling in a mist.