Air

It's been more than a week since Shawn left , again. Tried texting him last night but he didn't reply , I don't know what to feel anymore . Another girl he once mentioned to me is soon taking over my place and I can't tell you how much it hurts . I know, that I will get replaced and it's probably just a matter of time but really - I wished it never happened . Looking at how she's making him smile , brightening his day and how they enjoy time together is really a living torture for me to endure . But I'll still look anyway because I can't stop myself . 

I can't stop myself to check his last seen every minute just to see whether his been texting or not , I can't go twitter without typing his name at my search bar just to check out what's he doing , I can't stop myself from checking his Favourites because I just want to know what interest him and I always see things that hurt me and I'll continue scrolling anyway ... 

I just can't stop caring for him 

When I say that I love you , I really do mean it deep . My feelings were never fake and I'm really afraid to love because shit like this will happen . I will torture myself and go long miles for him just to care a little . It hurts , everyday and everything hurts , but what am I suppose to do ? My soul keeps wanting to leave but my heart keeps yearning for his return . I just gotta press on and stay 

Sometimes feelings like this , it just makes me feel like Air . Yeah Air , invisible but you know it's there . This Air here has been constantly staying and pouring out herself but nobody can see it . The air is everywhere surrounding us and you can't see it - but you know it's there . It exist and it is here . Do you know how it feels like ? 

Three months had passed since the day we've broke up , three months I had lived living like a soulless wind .