The biggest culprit.

I heard the words drifting to my ears, I denied to my heart for the lies I was feeding to.
"No don't listen Luna, Its gonna hurt."
The words don't often lie and the truth is always the main course in Hell kitchen.
"Don't look please, someone, anyone, tell me this isn't true."
...Wake me up from this dead dream.

Pain was long faded in my ghoul as the evil took over me. This time however, I met Satan himself.

The ripping sound of a tearing heart is slowly, slowly breaking up inside me. I felt it - Hard.
This menacing pain wouldn't go, it kept draining my soul away and soon taking over me.

"I really don't need to feel this pain, please I want to go."

He reached out his hands to me, pulling me to his embrace.
"Here my little one, you have suffered enough. I'll bring you to the other side. A place where feelings were not born and pain were never felt."

As I dragged my foot to the other world, I kept my conscious clear and my took a last breathe.
"This would be the last for me, put everything down and leave."
I let go of the pain that I was holding on for so long and looked at my bloody hands.
All this time I have been trying to give up yet I was still carrying all the memories in my hand around me. What was I thinking?

Why do you have to do this to me? Why am I feeling this pain? Whose fault is it, yours or mine?
All these questions left unanswered, untold.

Despite knowing the fact everything was going to hurt, I continued being exposed to the things that kill me and suffered the pain again and again. why am I so foolish?
I can't help but want to find out the truth, I can't help but shed the bit of love that was always meant for you, Stop it Luna - Stop.

They say "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back" I was constantly satisfied with the tormented feeling, I can't help but want to run another slice to my heart to feel the bleed.
It hurts so fucking bad, but I love it.

I left, to a dark place i feed my soul to. Roaming in the dark with no soul, realised I am surrounded by heartless ghouls. The same pain, same feeling, everyone knew.

Leaving a soft trail of blood behind before it finally fades into dust.
You were the biggest culprit who tore me apart.

Wildest Wolf

The only one.

1
Right from the start, she knew I was different.
In her cradle, I was blessed in Endless affection.
With pain in her heart she fought for my survival,
The only person whose love could be so vital.

3
In winter she brought me bitter and loneliness,
Nothing but mirrors in my memory and her sleeping silhouette.
Groomed my imagination with never existing friends,
Gave me a life that I probably resent.

5
Filling me with colours and happiness again,
With daddy we went to a home place.
And even I could remember every event,
Bring me back to the days in Japan.

7
The next chapter in life began,
You walked me down every steps.
These endless nights where I spent with you,
Never wished to end it at two.

9
My lil sis entered my life.

13
Hell begin, where should I start?
This relationship have driven us apart.
All my regrets for my foolish acts,
Craziness in life have such an irony on hand.



Stay, I need you,
9 years of us is not enough.
Don't leave me please,
Adding your love to my wish list.

Never meant to make you cry,
Hated myself for coming to your life.
Tell me this isn't happening,
Why is life being so fucking mean.

17
Hey, how are you?
I couldn't even remember when we last had dinner.
My presence is slowly fading,
Missing you is more than just a feeling.

"Come home, Where are you?"
Are my favourite texts.
A reminder that i still matter,
Even when theres a Abuser.

I miss you dearly,
As I stared out the frosted windows.
In a cold room with no love,
Running stupid questions of my birth.

Mummy,

I know that I'm probably not the best daughter in the world. I understand that Ive been drifting from this family and we behave worse than strangers do in the streets. Words can't describe how much I missed you guys in my life. The sorrow, the cries and the aches - I tell myself it'll be over soon but I know, it never will. I know you check me up daily to ensure my safety, but truly I just wish to end everything now. This complicated life I've been living is a torturous game to the mind. I'm so done. Its your birthday today and I've asked your for a simple dinner, sadly you reject me away. Why?
This family feels like an empty shell, and I can't help but run away from this place.

I don't want to see you happy with sis and daddy, I don't want to see that you're fine without me. Come back, Im here. Still.

Bring me back the nine years we had, I promise I'll make it better.

My days are over, To you I'm gone with the wind.
Happy Birthday Mother,
I missed you.


Wildest Wolf

Hush

Hush. Don't speak.

This post is gonna make me bleed.

This pain on my aching beat,

Running blood on my top ribs.

Hush. Settle down.

Don't worry about life- just calm down.

Even the lost found light in the dull,

Wouldn't you live life without a dwell?

Hush. Don't cry.

This feeling that I get I don't know why.

This misery lingering over my soul.

A tormented life lurking around in the cold.

Hush. Take a shot.

Let liquor bring you away from your thoughts

The burning Crimson will befall,

This pain you felt will be dissolve.

Hush. Stay happy.

Cut a line and put stitches over me.

This plastic happiness we were told to portray.

Losing faith in humanity once again.

Hush. I love you.

What a common lie coming from you.

Why are we killing each other

Are you a lover or a serial killer

Hush. The moon.

Alone in the dark, faded in the sky.

Seek for the moon when you lost your sight.

I'll bring you home with all my light.

-Hush

Wildest Wolf